Five “The Sims” Expansion Packs That Should Exist.

Even The Sims 3 can get boring. Isn’t that sad? But don’t worry. Rumour has it that the crew at The Sims have been busy at work, creating new and wonderful works of fun. Not only are they edgier but they all around expand your ability as god; to create and choreograph the kind of life you, too, would be pleased to live.

The Sims: Teenage Pregnancy

Oh, no.

Your teen Sims can now get pregnant. What a disaster this can be for their grades. Risk of pregnancy increases if teenage Sims leave the house at any time. This can be a good thing if you’re playing the ten-generation challenge. Pregnant teenagers will no longer attend school or have aspirations other than Family or Grilled Cheese. What a shame. Your sim might not finish high school but that’s okay because ain’t nobody got time for that.

The Sims: CSI

A new career path? How fun! Crime scene investigation is a mighty grand addition to the hitherto boring lives of the poor old Sims. Sure, Law Enforcement is great fun. So is Private Investigation. But what about Crime Scenes themselves? Whatever.

Now is the time to allow your Sims to become part of the problem!

The Sims: CSI will fill your town with terror and disharmony. Sims will have access to all sorts of useful weapons. As an alternative to forming a group they can suddenly “form a gang”. Sims are now able to “streetfight”, “duel” and “orchestrate a battle” with any other nearby sim or group of Sims. When amalgamated with The Sims: Spirituality and Enlightenment there will be a randomized chance that “religious crusade” or “jihad” will break out resulting in the torture and murder of all Sims in your town. You will then have the option to start playing a new town.

The Sims: Spirituality and Enlightenment

The Sims are currently missing out on something and they don’t even know it. Despite the countless fascinating things they do and the ridiculous items they attain, their lives remain meaningless. The Sims: Spirituality and Enlightenment will be able to offer them direction and the kind of satisfaction that can only be felt by believing in something based on reasons other than reason. Enter, Deity of Choice.

Along with personalities and body shapes you will enjoy the unique and newly available chance to decide upon your Sims’ religious stance. Are they an atheist? Are they a fundamentalist Christian? Perhaps they are a measure cooler than all that? No problem! Let them show their quirky side by making them a Wiccan! Cool!

What will you notice? Your Sims will appear to be praying a lot of the time. This is because they will be praying a lot of the time. They will occasionally receive emails, phone calls, post and (extremely rarely) visits from god. When things are going wrong in your Sim’s life there is a high chance that god’s People will start hanging around to recruit your sim. Like vultures to prey. By allocating the ‘insanity’ trait to your sim you are increasing the dedication your sim will employ/direct towards their pre-determined faith. There will also be a far increased likeliness that your sim will be visited by their deity of choice. Isn’t that exciting?

The Sims: Enjoying a Debt

Your Sims will be horrified to be thrown out of a world where $20,000 buys a house. Luckily, any misery experienced by the fresh, new reality will quickly turn to excitement generated by the new challenge they face! Welcome to The Sims: Enjoying the Western Economy! Instead of becoming a multimillionaire who is an expert in everything, your goal will be to pay off a debt. Occasionally, random levies will apply leaving your Sims with cryptic messages accompanying hefty bills. When starting a new family you will not be greeted with $20,000 but a debt and ever-increasing interest rates. If you pay it off before your Sims die you win.

The Sims: Extreme Weather

An Earthquake will crack through your town from time to time without any warning. It will destroy everything and delete your entire iTunes library out of spite.

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